A Fresh Start (up)

I know I look ridiculous with this hat, but I must say I like the picture anyway… My damn attraction for everything that I saw on American TV!!!

As you might have understood, I’m just back from France after my one-week trip. I spent a couple of days working at the eBay office in Paris to avoid losing too many days off (they are precious in the US!) so I saw everyone again: it is almost hard to imagine that the two offices are part of the same company, since the different sizes create completely different atmospheres. I must say that I enjoyed the traditional French breakfast in the cafeteria where everyone spends at least a few minutes in the morning to discuss with others around really good brioches

I presented my thesis on Thursday, got an A and a great proposal: my tutor told me that she thinks that I can get published, and that she would help me if I considered it. I am thinking about it; it is both a lot of work and a great opportunity.

On Thursday I attended the class gift ceremony and the last HEC party: I saw people that I haven’t seen in two years even if I deeply love them, it seems crazy… But during the party everything seemed exactly the same, it was so reassuring… I realize that it must be really hard for those, unlike me, who have spent this last year in HEC. For me, this week was just a nice remembrance of how it used to be; for them, it’s much more the end of something without a clear vision on the future. The graduation ceremony was really moving, especially our dean’s speech: this school really deserves its first rank in Europe, and for once (even if it is highly unusual for a French person!) I must say that I’m really proud to have had the privilege of attending such an institution. All the pictures (party + ceremony) are here.

But all this week I’ve been waiting for a “click”, that would make me think that I belong in my home country, and that this time in the US is just a nice experience. I’ve been looking for that in the many attentions of my mother, in the laughs of my friends, in the terraces of Parisian cafés… and I just couldn’t find it. Of course I miss my parents and friends, of course I miss French food and art de vivre, but I never felt that I belong there, whereas being in the US seems natural… I’ve heard the terrific question a thousand times this week: “why do you want to stay in the US?”… and I can’t manage to find a rational and therefore convincing answer to give to these people, so I always answer with the same passion that I had when I was 5 and told my mom that I wanted to live in the country of the big buildings; which automatically lead people to think that I watched TV too much and that I will go back to France when I’ll realize that living in the US is not an episode of 90210 every day. Well, I don’t want to ascertain things because you feel stupid when you change your mind despite what the proverb says, but I am *almost* sure that I’ll never feel delighted at the idea of coming back to France, and therefore will do everything I can to avoid it, even if it won’t be easy considering the visa mess in which I find myself!

Anyway, I finally took a plane back yesterday to go back to Rémy (who I missed so much this week, I am so sad that he couldn’t attend those moments with me) but since it is me, nothing could go easy: 6 planes landed at the same time in DC, so I spent 3 hours at Immigration and Customs, then I heard that my connection was delayed because of a thunderstorm in Richmond. 4 hours later my plane finally arrived but…. it had a technical problem: they couldn’t turn the computers on, and therefore couldn’t put fuel in the plane! I started to sleep on the floor of the airport (a few hours after having heard by my dean that I am part of the elite of the world, it’s somewhat ironic) and another 2 hours later, we finally boarded: useless to tell you that I am exhausted, especially after spending the entire day catching up with work emails!

This entry was posted on Monday, June 16th, 2008 at 6:40 am and is filed under American way of life, Education, Expatriation, Travel, eBay.You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.